Spears added that she now recognizes that she is really angry with Jamie Spears – who she says hopes to burn in hell – and she spoke directly to her sons about how much she continues to care about them.
“I’m so lucky to call you mine, and I just want you to know that I apologize,” she said. “My ignorance in telling you guys, because it was meant for my dad.”
She also opened up about how painful the conflict with her sons had been, mentioning at one point that they blocked her in addition to stopping visitation and missing her wedding.
“Since they left, I honestly feel like a big part of me died,” Spears said. “Like literally, I have no purpose left. They were my joy, they were everything to me. I couldn’t wait to see them. That was what I lived for.”
But, she added, she won’t stop speaking publicly after being voiceless for so long. She revealed she meets with a therapist weekly and also does equine therapy to heal from the isolation she experienced during guardianship – particularly the time she was forced to spend at a rehabilitation center . Opening up has always been a struggle for her, she added, describing herself as an introvert despite her life as a performer.
“In my head, it’s really crucial for me to feel like I can share,” Spears said. “If it’s the dumbest thing in the world that I do is to share my thoughts on my Instagram, if it’s stupid, so be it, because I really feel like it helps me .”