‘I did not want to be alive anymore’

Noah Cyrus opened up about his journey of grief, addiction, and self-forgiveness in a recent interview with Zane Lowe for Apple Music.

During the six-part interview, Cyrus talked about the motives and inspirations behind his debut album, The hardest part, who drew much of his inspiration from his mental health struggles.

“When I turned 20, I was overwhelmed with the thought that maybe I wouldn’t be 21,” she said, quoting a line from the album’s first song.

Now, the 22-year-old is open about the role drug addiction has played in her life.

“At the end of December 2020, I decided to try to get rid of my addiction to painkillers, prescription pills, painkillers. Xanax — it was kind of my go-to drug — and I was completely enveloped inside of that drug,” she said.

Eventually, she reached a breaking point that prompted her to seek help.

“When I had just lost all hope and all faith and everything, like, what felt like the strength to carry on was when I broke down and asked for help…For so long, I denied, denied, denied and pushed back, where I finally said, ‘I can’t lie to you anymore,'” she said.

This revelation allowed those around him to better understand the severity of his struggles and demystified some of his past behaviors.

“I called my therapist, I called my psychiatrist, and I think there was a lot of confusion that a lot of things clicked for them, where a lot of the stories didn’t make sense in the past” , she said. “I got the help that I needed and deserved, and that every person with addiction or mental illness deserves.”

Cyrus has been candid with her followers through the ebbs and flows of her mental health journey.

“I think that’s one thing that’s always stayed the same with me, is how truthful and honest I’ve been about what’s going on inside and about my sanity,” he said. she declared. “I mean, with my fans, I’m being really honest with my mental health and my growth, how difficult it has been for me in the public eye.”

She also opened up about her mental state on her road to recovery and the vital role her furry friends played in keeping her alive.

“My dogs…they save me. The process of waking me up, feeding them, taking them out, going for walks, which actually kept me alive at one point in my life because I feel like to know that my dogs were counting on me. When I felt like I had no purpose, the purpose I had was those dogs,” she said.

Months away from the second anniversary of her decision to beat her addiction, Cyrus is able to reflect on the dangerous headspace that led her down the path of addiction.

“There are a lot of personal things… that I had to come to terms with. I recognized it and I’m definitely healing it. But I also think at the time I didn’t want to be alive anymore. . not,” she shared. “And I was just waiting for a day that maybe I wouldn’t wake up. I don’t know where it was going. There were a lot of scary moments. I just know I was trying to avoid being alive or maybe feel a sense of being alive, because sometimes being alive hurts.

She acknowledged that life would get tough at times, but knows she’s in a much better place now.

“Either it’s the first time or the first time in, like, a very long time,” she said, “that I’ve felt this sense of peaceful bliss inside of me.”

Well-being, parenthood, body image and more: discover the who behind the whoo with the Yahoo Life newsletter. register here.

Leave a Comment