The Most Fit Celebrities Reveal Their Workout Regimens

Have you ever wondered how to overcompensate for your lack of intellectual depth or interesting personality by getting the beautifully toned body of our hottest celebrities? onion sat down with the fittest celebrities to learn about their workout regimens.

Gabrielle Union-Wade: “I modified Giles Corey’s torture by placing weights on my body while my trainer asks me if I want to confess to witchcraft. Eventually I pass out, and although I will obviously never die, this taste for martyrdom does wonders for my heart.

Dwayne Johnson: “Thanks to my athletic background in football and, of course, professional wrestling, I have steroid connections that I still use today.”

Henry Cavill: “Ten jumping jacks in a week.”

Margot Robbie: “Have you heard of HIIT? It stands for “high intensity interval training”, and it’s what I would do if my body wasn’t naturally perfect without any effort on my part. »

Kate Beckinsale: “I recently discovered that instead of doing one crunch and finishing your workout, you can do several in a row. It’s really boosted my fitness routine, and I’m curious to see if it works for push-ups and squats.

Jason Statham: “Three times a day I do a workout called ‘reverse bulk’ in which I apply force to the back of my throat and flex my stomach muscles until they eject the meal I just ate.”

Jennifer Aniston: “Cosmetic surgery. What are you, stupid?”

Jessica Biel: “Every weekend I go to Griffith Park and hunt deer with my bare hands. Nothing compares to the adrenaline rush of dominating a live animal, tasting fresh blood while the heart is still beating and watching life slowly slip away from his eyes as he accepts his destiny, plus it helps to integrate my steps.

Michael B. Jordan: “Consistency is key. Every day I wake up and do six hours of esports, no cheat days.

Liam Hemsworth: “I masturbate while looking at myself in a mirror. The more I masturbate, the more fat I burn and the hotter I feel, the more I want to masturbate. It’s a perfect system.

Paul Giamatti: “Honestly, diet and exercise don’t do much. Without perfect genetics, you’ll never achieve a physique like mine.

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